Tuesday 2 October 2012

TIME FLIES with LOVE, BEAUTY & OPPORTUNITY


Wow! The things I have said and learnt from these silly scripts working in radio.
Just found these edited words (not mine originally; I only rewrote and imbued them with a sprinkling of collective wisdom and wit) from old scripts saved under T for Tourism dating from the 90s.
Hmmmmmmm.  Ns3m piiii!
I guess all of us, men as well as women, must invest in only loving and giving people; put valuable time and effort into worthy relationships in our youth or rely on the government to assign us unwilling helmets and boots for partners when life really begins. 
How time flies when we are in good company. How time flies with love, beauty and opportunity!

Geography of WOMAN: A Guide for tourists

Between 16 and 20 a woman is like Africa,
mostly undiscovered; part wild, part civilized. 
Naturally beautiful and fertile but easily persuaded by all things flashy and foreign. 
Needs a sharp focus on education, health and basic infrastucture, 
not embellishments and entertainment.
Parental guidance desperately required.


Between 21 and 30 a woman is like America,
Well developed, hot and sexy. 
Over-confident in looks and over-rated in abilities. 
Open to trade especially with investors in possession of ready cash 
and highly visible collateral. 
Over-reliant on the maxim: Turnover is vanity, Profit is sanity, Cash is reality. 
Attracts keen tourists of all kinds and many investors looking for quick dividends.
Aversion to greed desperately required.


Between 31 and 35 she is like India,
quite hot, yet relaxed in the conviction that any fading charm 
is compensated by a career on the rise, beautiful belongings
 and her exotic cuisine. 
Continues to attract tourists and investors
albeit in smaller quantities due to publicized problems.
Self-awareness desperately required.

Between 36 and 40 a woman is like France,
In possession of a well-developed taste for décor,  
cuisine and entertainment.
Graceful but aging.  
Still a warm and desirable place to visit for vacations. 
Reality check and humility required.


Between 41 and 50 she is like Yugoslavia;
Bruised and battered in a lost war or two, 
haunted by past mistakes and past 
unworthy investors. 
Radical internal and external reconstruction is 
necessary if she is to stay competitive in the new world markets. 
New strategy and reinvention required.


Between 51 and 60, she is like Russia,
very wide with open unpatrolled borders but the 
frigid climate and chapters of unpleasant history 
keeps people away.
Openness and kindness desperately required.


Between 60 and 65, a woman is like Mongolia,
with culture, and a glorious all conquering past
but alas, read about only in books. 
New associations desperately required

After 65, a woman is like Afghanistan.
Almost everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there 
unless visiting family or conscribed by government.
Paid or subdued partners may be acquired.

Thank goodness, they say, age is just a number. It has nothing to do with how old you are.