Saturday 24 March 2012

SEX & THE CITY OF EASY COME EASY GO

"Easy come, easy go. Short, sweet and true. Remember the money you found in the street, the needless present a not-so-close mate insisted on giving you for Christmas, the items you bought for so cheap you felt the customer service person should have done a proper price check, and the short-time partner from your past that got naked for you faster than you could learn their full name? They are all living testimony to the ease with which mankind discards what we did not work hard for.
Truth hurts. But it is better told sooner than later.

Question: Why are we so eager to fry our singular egg for a paltry breakfast for one when we can protect it, incubate it, have it hatch and grow into full chicken for a family dinner?
Someone you know, perhaps even you.. might say ......
1. There can be no greater hunger in the foreseeable future than what you feel right now
2. Whatever little you can get right here, right now must be worth more than what you haven't yet seen and may never know
3. Patience is for people who cannot capitalise on the present slightest opportunity.

But really, each of us must invest time getting to know reasonably well the people who choose us or whom we choose from the crowd. The onus is on us to spend valuable time teaching them about us and learning about them, knowing their habits and character and unveiling ours to them. It is worth knowing that we have honestly come to understand and grown closer to them before allowing them to close in on our erogenous zones. We must let common knowledge precede carnal bondage. 



Contrary to what some good ladies may say, good men feel the same way about quick and easy sex too. 
It is very tempting but devalues otherwise adorable persons and leaves a partner thinking of how you give in so easily to others too. This goes for men as well as women. The 'shabo shabo', 'quickie' or y3nk0 nkoaa' is the act of unthinking people pretending to be carried away by emotion. The fake oooohhhs and aarrrhs to deceitfully convey a loss of control over onself; the claim that one is lost in the overpowering beauty and mesmerizing charm of the other and the whole facade of burning passion is an absolute waste of time that leads to loss of face and a waste of honour. The charade we trick each other to believe is passion is so reminiscent of the dogs and bitches of site 2 often getting something stuck and having stones thrown at them by equally naughty boys and girls who use charcoal to inscribe 'toto is good for boys and girls' on people's walls.
This is not love. I am not so sure it even qualifies for sex. It comes across as a selfish animalistic act designed to denigrate and disgrace. It is not dignified nor cherished enough for making babies with. Starting a family with this must be treachery or at best trickery. Whatever fleeting pleasure may be obtained from the unforeseen contingency called the quickie, vanishes quickly leaving a sour taste in the mouth and eyes that are not comfortable meeting the pair owned by the partner in crime. Now both are in dire need of Adam and Eve's fig leaves for complete cover. But lo and behold, the 'shabo shabo', 'quickie' or 'y3nko nkoaa' cannot be obliterated from OUR TIMELINE. It becomes part of OUR HISTORY. 


Imagine if we got a tattoo on our forehead for each one we umhhhh...did under circumstances leading to a dead end. Crikey! Certain faces would have ink stains everywhere. Hopefully my excessive tan would conceal my transgressions if any.
Oh God! Lead us not into temptation of the 'shabby shabo shabo' but deliver us from evil. I have been to the mountain top and seen that 'y3nko nkoaa' is no delicious feast for two. 
It is more like an untidy hot dog wrapped in cheap stained tissue, grabbed quickly in the street when there is neither a fine place to dine nor sufficient time and money for what good mothers call a proper meal. 


Unless you have literally walked together, held hands and smiled together, disagreed and still stayed together, dined together, given each other a little present without compulsion, undressed the mind and gleaned the thoughts and aspirations of the person you are considering presenting yourself to in your birthday suit, hmmmmm....it is advisable to remain sober, dignified and dressed as you wish to be addressed. 
Regrettably, there will always be the ill-advised young blood and layabout oblivious to the implications of a moment's folly on their bright future. There will also be the carefree man or woman who lays their dignity down for many a wretched soul that beckons in return for a little favour.

Every city, town and village has a few of both. They are like public utilities; relief or entertainment for the masses. They give a seemingness of pleasure and brief relief yet spread viruses literally and metaphorically in the little time contact is made. My dear Swedish lady friend does not use public restrooms for fear of catching something abominable, and rightly so. 



Those seeking to be in a relationship must have a clear point of departure from the 'public facilities'.
Sad to say but even though we may use these facilities in time of need, no one looks after them properly as they would their own at home.

People generally hold in high esteem those things they invest time and effort to obtain and maintain. The harder the effort, the sweeter the success. Fast food, though more salty, sugary, oily and easier to assemble, cannot hold a candle to soul food. Same goes for our relationships.
Heed the Ashanti sage: "Sex is best served as the delightful dessert, not the starter for the banquet. If the starter and main course are bad, there is no need to sit in wait for dessert"-KKD







Thursday 22 March 2012

It is amazing what goodness DANCE & MUSIC bring into our lives. 
They lift us up when we are down, calm us down when we are anxious, release the tension when we are stressed, and provide us with or lead us into our sweetest moments of pleasure.
Join in at at the School of Oriental & African Studies (SOAS) in London, one of Europe's most prestigious Universities as I deliver a talk as Guest Speaker on Arts, Culture and Media: The significance of Traditional Dance and Drumming in the Electronic & New Media. Friday 23 March 2012, 6pm. Nearest Tube: Russell Square. "Silence is golden; Speech is Platinum"