SEX & THE CITY OF EASY COME EASY GO

"Easy come, easy go. Short, sweet and true. Remember the money you found in the street, the needless present a not-so-close mate insisted on giving you for Christmas, the items you bought for so cheap you felt the customer service person should have done a proper price check, and the short-time partner from your past that got naked for you faster than you could learn their full name? They are all living testimony to the ease with which mankind discards what we did not work hard for.
Truth hurts. But it is better told sooner than later.

Question: Why are we so eager to fry our singular egg for a paltry breakfast for one when we can protect it, incubate it, have it hatch and grow into full chicken for a family dinner?
Someone you know, perhaps even you.. might say ......
1. There can be no greater hunger in the foreseeable future than what you feel right now
2. Whatever little you can get right here, right now must be worth more than what you haven't yet seen and may never know
3. Patience is for people who cannot capitalise on the present slightest opportunity.

But really, each of us must invest time getting to know reasonably well the people who choose us or whom we choose from the crowd. The onus is on us to spend valuable time teaching them about us and learning about them, knowing their habits and character and unveiling ours to them. It is worth knowing that we have honestly come to understand and grown closer to them before allowing them to close in on our erogenous zones. We must let common knowledge precede carnal bondage. 


Contrary to what some good ladies may say, good men feel the same way about quick and easy sex too. 
It is very tempting but devalues otherwise adorable persons and leaves a partner thinking of how you give in so easily to others too. This goes for men as well as women. The 'shabo shabo', 'quickie' or y3nk0 nkoaa' is the act of unthinking people pretending to be carried away by emotion. The fake oooohhhs and aarrrhs to deceitfully convey a loss of control over onself; the claim that one is lost in the overpowering beauty and mesmerizing charm of the other and the whole facade of burning passion is an absolute waste of time that leads to loss of face and a waste of honour. The charade we trick each other to believe is passion is so reminiscent of the dogs and bitches of site 2 often getting something stuck and having stones thrown at them by equally naughty boys and girls who use charcoal to inscribe 'toto is good for boys and girls' on people's walls.
This is not love. I am not so sure it even qualifies for sex. It comes across as a selfish animalistic act designed to denigrate and disgrace. It is not dignified nor cherished enough for making babies with. Starting a family with this must be treachery or at best trickery. Whatever fleeting pleasure may be obtained from the unforeseen contingency called the quickie, vanishes quickly leaving a sour taste in the mouth and eyes that are not comfortable meeting the pair owned by the partner in crime. Now both are in dire need of Adam and Eve's fig leaves for complete cover. But lo and behold, the 'shabo shabo', 'quickie' or 'y3nko nkoaa' cannot be obliterated from OUR TIMELINE. It becomes part of OUR HISTORY. 


Imagine if we got a tattoo on our forehead for each one we umhhhh...did under circumstances leading to a dead end. Crikey! Certain faces would have ink stains everywhere. Hopefully my excessive tan would conceal my transgressions if any.
Oh God! Lead us not into temptation of the 'shabby shabo shabo' but deliver us from evil. I have been to the mountain top and seen that 'y3nko nkoaa' is no delicious feast for two. 
It is more like an untidy hot dog wrapped in cheap stained tissue, grabbed quickly in the street when there is neither a fine place to dine nor sufficient time and money for what good mothers call a proper meal. 


Unless you have literally walked together, held hands and smiled together, disagreed and still stayed together, dined together, given each other a little present without compulsion, undressed the mind and gleaned the thoughts and aspirations of the person you are considering presenting yourself to in your birthday suit, hmmmmm....it is advisable to remain sober, dignified and dressed as you wish to be addressed. 
Regrettably, there will always be the ill-advised young blood and layabout oblivious to the implications of a moment's folly on their bright future. There will also be the carefree man or woman who lays their dignity down for many a wretched soul that beckons in return for a little favour.

Every city, town and village has a few of both. They are like public utilities; relief or entertainment for the masses. They give a seemingness of pleasure and brief relief yet spread viruses literally and metaphorically in the little time contact is made. My dear Swedish lady friend does not use public restrooms for fear of catching something abominable, and rightly so. 

Those seeking to be in a relationship must have a clear point of departure from the 'public facilities'.
Sad to say but even though we may use these facilities in time of need, no one looks after them properly as they would their own at home.

People generally hold in high esteem those things they invest time and effort to obtain and maintain. The harder the effort, the sweeter the success. Fast food, though more salty, sugary, oily and easier to assemble, cannot hold a candle to soul food. Same goes for our relationships.
Heed the Ashanti sage: "Sex is best served as the delightful dessert, not the starter for the banquet. If the starter and main course are bad, there is no need to sit in wait for dessert"-KKD

There is more to man than meets the eye

"When she saw the one shining bright from afar

She couldn't help but exclaim, Oh what a star!

From a distance his condition was mint

Style and substance, fresh like peppermint

So she said to herself, this one looks so good

I would bear their child and catch a grenade for them, touch wood

The type I can introduce to granny and my mother

My teacher, my sister, my brother, even my father

Then they opened their mouths and when they spoke

All the gauges blinked red, she asked, Is this a joke?

Alas, there is more than meets the eye

The mind and soul have meters we cant deny

What the eyes were seeing and the mind was reading

Were so at war, sight and thought went debating

I like what I see and seeing is believing

I dont like what I think, and thinking is everything

But what I see is clear, tangible and conclusive

No, what you see is evidence that is concise but elusive

Until I imbue it with thinking to make it constructive

Looks are deceiving, so be attentive, be pensive

Dissect the evidence before you with the scalpel of a surgeon

Rid it of its flavour like skinless Kentucky fried chicken

The labels and decoration are oft obstructive to reason

See each for who they are. Listen and observe the person

But what more is there to know when the eyes have seen?

What dirt could there be if the eyes declare it is clean?

I know this to be true, though it may cause you unease

I have journeyed the wide world and seven seas

Pretty impressions oft harbour fleas and unseen disease
That was the soul speaking with calm and ease

Distant lands look green and awash with peace

And new friends seem nicer and more eager to please

Man or woman, old friends and new lovers beware

This journey is fraught with many a false care

Value that which you hold as you go ahead

Down the garden path, do not be blindly led

For you can’t judge a book by its cover

You can’t judge a man by his clobber

Ignoramuses and imbeciles too can have swagger

But by their words and deeds you'll know their true colour"

-Kwasi Kyei Darkwah, MA


Your thoughts and comments are most welcome below

YOU ARE WHAT YOU SAY

If silence is golden, speech is platinum.
Conversation grants mankind a free platform to express ourselves away from the glare of the stage, curiosity of detractors and the scrutiny of an X Factor-like judging panel. The warm and relaxed nature, the sharing with people we deem close to us, and the cosiness of banter with companions and comrades we believe to be non-judgmental about our way of life, however, reveal thoughts and, sometimes, opinions we may have sought to conceal. We emote fresh breezes and thunderous storms within us that we, perhaps, did not know were even there.  
Chatting with a few of my proteges and compatriots in West Africa, Europe and North America over the last month has waved rather curious circumstances to my attention and if I may say so myself, utter bemusement and befuddlement alike. 


We really do not know people much till we have walked a considerable distance in their shoes, lived all four seasons in their huts or igloos and confronted the demons on their minds and in their hearts. Barring these, the only way to get to truly know another is to listen attentively to their words. Even those chats and banter that linger on about nothing say something about us; they provide a peek into the things we admire and those we frown upon. They give the observant navigator a glimpse of the tip of the iceberg. The hearts of men are in their words.


It has been estimated that from the first 'good morning' to the last 'good night,' the average person engages in 30 conversations a day; some of you average more than that, some of you, less. Statisticians have estimated that each of us will spend 13 years of our life talking, and every day, our words could write a book of 50-60 pages. In a year, if we are just average, we could author 264 books of over 200 pages, just with our words. You can do more than that if you can speak in excess of 300 words per minute, as some of us are able to do, or if you talk incessantly at any speed- http://www.gty.org.uk/resources/Sermons/2294 
Exposing the Truth About Men's Hearts

As we converse freely with family, friends and likeable foes we praise the things we love and condemn the things we hate. And yes we make numerous excuses and give endless explanations. 
"Oh, get over it" they say, am I am the only human who has made this error or committed a crime?" Many today comfort themselves with the excuse that numerous adults before them were not so upright nor bright. "We can't fail" they say "If The Charles Ponzis and Bernie Madoffs of this world live far more glamourous lives than the multitudes of dedicated and honest workers ever will." "Show me the respectable people who put in the effort everyday for the greater good of society and tell me if they have a better life than the drug dealers and reality tv actors"."I wont do too badly" said one. "After all an entire first world nation continually elected Berlusconi to lead them in spite of his proven despicable manner with girls fit to be his grand-children" "He killed so many but Idi Amin was President with whom the international community happily did business for years in full knowledge of crimes against his own people, and "To be honest, I see nothing wrong with using what I have got to get what I need. I have bills to pay and somebody wants to pay them" "Why work when I have a product that people want to pay for?" (simultaneously waving her hand from bust to bosom) The banter continues..... "As sure as there is night and day, I will bribe voters so I can get elected, because if I don;t some corrupt person will win and decide for us all" To which I reply but arent you corrupting the process by bribing the voters yourself whilst calling your competitors corrupt? 

"As for me I give all my problems to God, He is my refuge and fortress. But whoever wants to mess with me beware, cuz, I will f--k you up so bad even your great grandchildren will walk with sore a--es" My response of Vengeance is the Lord's was quickly met with "But Big Brother, you know God is a very busy man. By the time he gets to that s--ker, he may have forgotten the excessive force required". "What is the use of an education and career when the Kardashians can buy more stuff than a qualified nurse or school teacher" chipped in another. I could tell that the use of the old wise saying "In all thy getting, get understanding" would do little good to this voracious video vixen.


It is easy in the exuberance of youth to proclaim that "There is hope for everyone whether you do right or wrong. I give in to my temptations and I go with the flow. When I am ready, I can change" Now that one sounds like the beginning of one headed for dropping out of school or work. Many who end up in and out of drug rehabilitation, alcoholics anonymous and prison may have started by saying "Just this once" and continued by lying to themselves "For sure, this is the last time" the beleaguered shrink notes.

Word to the wise from KKD:
Work on the hopes and aspirations of your youth. Bask in the sunshine and joy it brings. Savour the beauty that comes with being young and strong. And each day as you seek your treasure and your pleasure, remember to do things in fair measure. Treasure the power and beauty of your youth. Hold it dear and use it wisely. Like an unprotected egg, if it falls and breaks, its contents are not longer valuable when spilled in the dirt.


The only permanent thing in life is CHANGE, that is other than the Word of God. The green will ripen, the pale will darken, the erect will droop, the upright will stoop, the fast will slow down, the ripe will fall down, the village will become a town, the leader may become a clown and even beauty may become ugly. Some will age beautifully and gracefully like fine wine. Some will get better and wiser with time but nothing...., nothing stays the same forever. BEAUTY IS A VIRTUE & YOUTH IS A RARE BLESSING that many do not value till they have made choices to render themselves prematurely 'unpretty', old and cold.
Live your youth so you may speak about it with honour and pride. No matter how rich or famous you may become, you can never buy back your youth.
-Kwasi Kyei Darkwah, MA, AVP (Lond)
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